things have stepped up steeply. so much so that, for the past two weeks, im feeling very suffocated. tired and totally drained. at one point in time, i actually wonder, why is it that everytime im under stress i'd feel totally lousy. could it be that i cant handle stress? or is it that my tenacity is not great enough. in any case, im fully stretched these few weeks. the sudden steepening of my learning curve caught me off guard, albeit forewarned. i need more encouraging words before i break down, i need more space before i feel stifled. i need more. but im trying, trying my best to cope. to not show too much. apparently, im not very successful at the last point. a few times, i think i revealed a tad too much emotions (though much much lesser than before). at least, im glad that i have supporting colleagues.

the only happy thing out of these few weeks is that - I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MY OWN DRIVE! not the car itself, but the ability. that put me in a very happy position. no doubt, its a little disappointing that it had to take me 3 times to do it, the sense of achievement this time was great. simply due to the bad weather and good tester. its not just a pass. to me, i passed with flying colors and compliment. thats what matters. so thank you.

one of the TANS left for Denmark and wont be back about 5 mths later. and im beginning to miss him already, even though i dont really see him when he's here. velkhoo is away for a longer period of 7 mths at Seattle. Andre's all over the world. Andy's leaving for melb soon when his vacation end and it seems like he wont be back till he graduate or maybe even later. that would be another 2 yrs down the road. everyone's not around.

2011 hello.

please treat me better.

thank you.